That moment that opens your eyes

I just read something in a myfitnesspal.com forum post and it felt like something just woke up in me.  Someone wrote about their food/binge trigger not being about stress but rather about control.  She thought that she was bingeing on food because of her high stress levels but her friend pointed out that her biggest issue at the moment was a lack of control due to all the things happening in her life.

Wow.  Oh, wow.

I have often joked about being a control freak but I think that I am on to something and that this is something that causes me so much needless pain and conflict!  Just identifying this won't solve things for me much it does help because so many things make so much more sense now!

It's time to use that  power for good instead of evil and turn inaction into action.

Woot!

My visitor count just clicked to 1000 today!  I'm sure I'm about 990 of the hits, but that 1000 just looks so shiny!


What's new?

House for sale
Selling a house in a slooooooow market (aka buyer's market) is a lot more stressful and frustrating than selling a house in a seller's market.

Traveling for work
It used to be that I 'got to travel for work'.  Now, sometimes I 'have to travel for work'.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind traveling when it's to a place I've never been before or to a place like San Fransisco, but when I 'get' to go Regina for the third time in one year?  Well, that's not as much fun!

Making babies
Not yet knocked up.  See previous item for why not.

School
Presently in my last course for CGA.  I can't wait to finish so that I can... stay doing the same thing I am now?

Wine
I love you.  Oh, wait.  That's not new!

{insert clever title here}

Back to school.  Procrastinating already by posting on my blog!

This summer was a busy one but somehow we managed to spend most of it at home.  Now that fall is almost here, our busy travel schedules are resuming.  As usual, I'm trying to pile too many things onto my schedule and that just leads to me doing nothing productive!  Only 5 weeks til the Thanksgiving 10k run.  As usual, I've been doing more run planning than run running.  I know I can finish the run; I just might not like the time I finish in.

Run for your life.
Run for those who can't.
Run for those who are gone.
Run for those who are still here.
Run for your life.

CALIFOOOORRRNIAAAAA

The Beach Boys' song comes to mind every time.

We're in Napa tasting wines today. I must say that I'm awfully disappointed with the experience. Exorbidant tasting fees, expensive wines, crowded tasting rooms... need I go on? It seems that we have been spoiled by the wine tours that we like to do in the Okanagan.

If you were to go on a wine tour in the USA, there are plenty of regions that can offer you tasty wines for a lot less $$ and pretentiousness. We really enjoyed the wineries in Yakima, Washington area and in the Anderson Valley (Navarro region) of California. All seemed to have tasting fees as well, but the wines were not priced as extravegantly.

Maybe my palate isn't as 'developed' as some wine enthusiasts, but other than a few wines, there weren't too many that caught my attention.

I <3 BC wine.

Plate is full!

I won't be signing up for Toastmasters until my course is done in early June. With the golf season starting (now!), and my running and triathlon goals, my calendar is filling up fast. I don't think it would be a good idea to add anything that requires a weekly time commitment or 3-4 hours.

I went to the pool yesterday for the first time since probably last August. I swam for 12.5 minutes and it felt good but I didn't have much more in my than that. I think I'm finally getting my ego under control, training-wise. Just because I did Ironman 2.5 years ago, doesn't mean I can just go out and swim for an hour or bike (at all!) or run a half marathon without putting any training in. This year's goals are small and reasonable; just the way they should be! 8k race in May, sprint triathlon in August, reducing my golf handicap from double-bogey to single-bogey, and a 10k race in October.

I dropped off my tri bike at the local bike shop to have it appraised for sale. It was harder than I thought it would be. I have a lot of emotional attachment to that bike but I don't think I'll be riding it again any time soon. In fact, I don't think I've been on it since the few weeks after IMC 2008! I still have my road bike for my race this summer and that's good enough for me! :)

Being brave means taking action even though you're scared.

I'm 2/3rds through a public speaking course and I am starting to feel that I might be sorry when it ends. I still don't find it very comfortable speaking in front of a group but yesterday, I volunteered to go first and that was SO much easier than waiting!

That feeling of dread that builds and builds as your turn creeps closer and closer? Gone when you go first! Our own perceptions of how we look and sound when up on the podium can be very different from what other people see and hear. I didn't think I did a good job but people said that I did well. I was easy to understand and took my time. In my mind, I was tongue-trippin' and rushing! Everyone's experience was rather similar to mine (no one felt good about their performance but the audience thought they did a great job!)

I am considering joining Toastmasters after this class is done but I'm not sure I want to make a weekly commitment to do that because golf season is starting shortly!

I always wait just long enough...

for all my followers to get really bored before making a new post.





Recap of the last month:


- Honeymoon in Hawaii was fun

- Going back to work was less fun

Picture of me pondering what it would be like to be in Ironman World Championships in Kona. I'm standing at the start line.

I eat old soap

Sometimes, I feel like people view me like this consultant. Especially when I'm consulting at a customer site and they show me this cartoon...

Fall down 7 times, get up 8 times

I'm back and ready to start kicking some ass again.



Figuratively!



It's like the sun poking out from behind the clouds. Light is shining on me again.



I'm feeling good and looking forward to running the half marathon in May. I starting off the year the right way and sticking to my running plan so far. While I would like to break my record of 2:17, I may have to save that for next time. I will be very happy with a time under 2:30 at this point. I have run approximately eight half marathons (let me check the number of race shirts in my closet) but the last time I ran one was May 2008. After Ironman, I have done almost nothing, race-wise. While I don't plan on getting into long-distance triathlons any time soon, I do want to run a half marathon this year! It's a long enough distance that you can't really fake it but not so long that the training takes up all your free time.



My training plan consists of running several times per week to start. After we get back from Hawaii, I will add hot yoga and biking into the mix for flexibility and additional conditioning. A slow and steady distance increase, combined with cross-training, will help to reduce the chances of injury.



I'm happy to be running again.



I'll be even happier when it's golf season again. :)

So many goals, so little time...

Am I trying to do too much at once or is it possible to accomplish many things at the same time?

I have many plans. I am an expert at writing things into my appointment book. The trouble comes when I need to take action.

Why do I keep expecting the future-me to be less of a procrastinator than present-me? Is something magical going to happen between now and and when the next item on my calendar pops up?

It's almost like once it's on my calendar, I can ignore it. Heck, I already dealt with the issue/study plan/workout schedule/appointment by putting it on my calendar in the first place, right?

Perhaps my planning is not specific, measurable, attainable, realistically high, or time parametered enough? (10 points to whoever gets that one.)

Maybe I'm not the 'good' planner that I think I am. My planning consists of writing things on my calendar like 'run' or 'study' into certain time slots during the week. My phone alerts me to these events, but I still ignore them! Vague planning = deadly inaction when it comes to execute the plan?

I love running

but I still didn't get up early enough to go for a run before work today.

I blame the dog.

Facing reality?

Well, I've been making excuses for my lack of focus, scattered home life and lack of working out, etc. I've been using my (and Rich's) hectic travel schedules as a big excuse for why I'm not accomplishing the things I want to do.

Well, guess what!? Another work trip is in the process of being booked.

So, I can either keep on making excuses and keep on treading water and not getting anything done, or I can just accept that I'll be racking a lot more frequent flier miles for the foreseeable future. You can make all the plans you want for the ideal situation but if you're never home, you have to come up with another plan sometimes!

Ready, Aim, Aim, Aim...

A lack of focus won't help you get very far.

Ever have so many things on your to-do list or your want-to-do list that you just can't get started? Your focus split in so many directions that you get nothing done? That's how I feel right now. My only to-dos are work, study, workout, and occasionally hose myself off.

I can't decide if it would be better to workout before work and start work a little later or start early so that I can finish early and get many things done in the evening. So far, I haven't really been doing either. I get up early, wander around for a while (usually get sucked into the time vampire aka the Internet), eat breakfast and then go to work. Then, after work, I sit on the computer again to "unwind", which just leads to more time suck and then, next thing I know, I'm wasted all my workout time and soon will be bleeding away my study time too. Eat supper, get on the computer again (I don't know how this keeps happening!) and before I know it, there's maybe an hour left for studying before it's time to go to sleep.

Part of the problem is that my school work is all long distance and online. I find it very hard to study off of a computer after being on it for 8 hours for work and then several more hours of websurfing. It's so easy to open another website and then another because it's far more interesting than the subject at hand. In fact, right now, by writing this post, I am still procrastinating!

Should try to study = no studying is going to happen because I resent the fact that I "have" to do this uninteresting activity.

Want to study = is a lie I tell myself.

Plan to study (it's even on the schedule) = lies I tell to others and myself.

Want to pass the course and finish CGA = the truth at last but difficult to achieve without putting in the time.

So close to being done. AARRRRRGGGGG!!!

If you're just going through the motions...

Almost done my CGA but lately, I feel like I'm just going through the motions when it comes to studying for my course. I'm having a hard time focusing on what I need to be doing and I'm falling behind quickly. I just want to be done with studying and I'm having a really hard time staying interested. Maybe I've just been in this program too long? Helpful tips to get me through one of my last courses are welcome.

Why working at home is both awesome and horrible

I think this sums it up nicely: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/working_home

It's happened again. It's Wednesday (I think) and I haven't left the house since Sunday and have no immediate plans to do so. At least I showered today.

Happiness

Is becoming more comfortable with your core misery, a form of happiness?

What does it mean to you, to be happy? Does it just mean freedom from misery or is it a fleeting feeling of joy; a high that doesn't last? How long can one sustain feelings of euphoria from new experiences? Is it the relentless pursuit of happiness that make us do stupid things like spend money we don't have on things we don't need? Why do humans adapt to their environments so darn fast and lose that high so quickly?

Silly TV shows! You're not supposed to make me think!

Secrets Of Running Speed at Runner's World

Hmmm... Sounds like a good list, but I think you can't get faster if you don't run at all!

Secrets Of Running Speed at Runner's World

UH OH!

I really don't know who's reading this, do I. Since there is a severe drought in the comments section, I sometimes forget that people might actually be tuning in to my occasional musings.

Gee, if I had known that people were actually reading this, I might actually update more often!

Anywhoo... Day 30 of marriage and I have been on the road for about half of that. Sometimes, we seem to be playing tag team with who is home when with the dog. September may see some easement in my travel schedule, but probably not with Richy's yet. Maybe I can start to settle into something of a routine, especially when school starts. Being on the road all the time, sure can take it's toll on your health: never any time to exercise and always eating in restaurants. I don't want to see another menu for a while!

I'm in the process of changing to my family name. What a pain in the butt! I guess if you change your name when you're young and don't own anything, it's not so hard. But, as a 30-something year old property owner, the list of where and how you change your name gets a bit longer. I decided to change my name because I think it means we're a team, with the same goals and life directions in mind. I think my decision was made easier because of how common my last name was; wasn't the last of my name in my generation or anything like that. Now, to decide how my new signature is going to look... retrain the brain to sign the new way is going to be fun!

If you blog and no one reads it...

If you make a blog entry and no one reads it, does it still make a (sound)?

Only a few more hours til I pick Rich up at the airport.  We've been married 19 days and have only been together for about 8 of them, and only about 4 of those days we were on our own.  Are we missing out on something?  The inital bonding period?  Or has that already happened since I moved in about 3 months before our wedding day?

Anywhooo... the wedding day was a huge party and everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves.  It was day 5 of a 10 day party since we had so many out of town guests come to visit us.  I really enjoyed seeing everyone have such a good time.

Now, on to improving my golf game.  Rich isn't going to make beating him be easy!  I figure that it will take me a few years before I get there, but maybe he'll start losing sleep when my scores start creeping up on his.

Married Feels Different

I feel a little different, now that I'm married. I feel more secure and grounded, in a way; it's hard to explain. I know that marriage often is not permanent and that even people who stay married, can drift apart after the years. It will be hard work, but worth it.

Important ingredients: common goals and communication, no expensive drug or gambling habits, respect for each other and making sure we have enough cuddle time.

Sigh... if only I didn't have to travel after only a week after getting married...